![]() This shift not only feels better but begins to change our relationship patterns on a deeper level. If in our efforts to attach we had to over develop certain qualities such as our nurturing (becomes compulsive caretaking, worry and controlling), our spirited personality (becomes rebellion), our independence (becomes avoidance and isolation) we can through self exploration and sometimes therapy, begin to surrender our need to survive and replace it with authentic living. However, experiences can be both good and bad. Bad experiences tend to generate a negative mindset and good experiences tend to generate positive mindsets. Mindsets are a culmination of all the experiences we have had. ![]() If our "survival decision" in childhood required that we give up, or more accurately, hide our innate sensitivity, openness, joy, or talents because they were not welcomed and understood by our caregivers, we can re-discover and develop the things that have been repressed or denied. Mindsets, we say, are related to our personality and sometimes our emotions at the time. Our personalities, tendencies, gifts, and vulnerabilities remain the same throughout life but how we use them can, with effort, change substantially. Fact: People generally can't change who they are but they can change how they are.
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